What I Wish I Would Have Done Differently

As soon as I had proof that my husband had been looking at pornography I immediately called him and told him to take the rest of the day off of work.  I definitely wasn't winning any submissive wife awards that day, so the question was what would be the worse, the sin of worrying all day and stewing in anger, or ordering my husband home?  I chose the later, and believe me I ordered him home.

I'm not proud of all the things I said and I'm not proud of how long I held on to the pain that I would bring up in subsequent arguments for years.  I certainly can't claim that I'm free of sexual sin, and yet I lorded my husband's sin over his head.  There would be a lot of things I'd change if I had a do-over, but there is one thing for sure that I would do differently.

After everything came out, our marriage immediately started healing even if I couldn't tell it at the time.  I was still in intense turmoil, BUT I was able to turn to God in prayer.  I wrote nearly all of my prayers down, because otherwise my thoughts were so black I couldn't concentrate in silence to pray otherwise.  I literally would write dozens of pages in my prayer journal a week pouring out my hearts and petitions to God.  I truly believe God miraculously began healing years of my husband's addiction because of this intense intercession.

Even though I was praying, a lot, I wasn't turning to God's word enough.  I read a lot about sexual sin by Christian authors and bloggers and the books helped immensely but I almost never picked up my Bible.  It was too hard, and thinking back I wish I would have pushed through the difficultly.

Friend, if you've been in the same shoes I wore or are wearing them now, all the blog posts, articles, and books in the world won't bring the same healing that fervent prayer and studying of the Word will.  I know how hard it is to do these things early on, but do them.  Turning to the Word and the throne of God are the most beneficial and powerful things you can do.

If you've discovered your spouse or child has been looking at or is addicted to internet pornography there is hope.  Christ can restore anything.  I hope my family's story will encourage you as you begin a journey of healing.

Internet pornography is a leading cause of divorce and the fastest growing addiction.  YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS AFFECTED BY PORNOGRAPHY.  Take a moment to share this post, so someone who you might not even realize is suffering may be blessed by it.  Sharing this post might just save a marriage.

Never Miss A Post Of Hope
As You Seek Healing:


Delivered by FeedBurner